Monday Confessional

Mer has started a confessional of 10 things people don't know about her, and things she doesn't particularly want them to know about her. She wants others to join in the release and revelry, so I thought why not? I don't know that I'll come up with 10, but I'll do my best, and I'll also try to do them on Monday.

1. I have realized that while it was okay to only shower every other day while in a relationship (he already loved me, and I didn't look THAT bad), daily shower is mandatory while single.

2. I really hate being single again. I've become an introvert to all except for the friends that I have made before and since I was in my last relationship. I hate that I have to be pretty all the time for guys to even notice me, and I hate that it doesn't really seem to matter. Granted I still need to become less of an introvert and actually DO something outside of school and work. I'm very proud of myself though, because I have tried talking to random people on the bus, but it's more of me joining in on a conversation rather than starting one (at least it's progress!!)

3. I weighed myself at my parents place a week ago Sunday, and I wanted to cry. Since I stopped doing racquetball I have gained more weight than I would like. It isn't bad, but when I look at myself, I see a slightly more round belly than I used to have. I have resolved to do swimming, dancing, and instead of working on Tuesday and Thursday morning I am going to try and do some form of workout (I did a dance workout video today).

4. Workout videos are silly. All the people in the video don't look like they sweat, they're always smiling and trying to look like they're having a good time. Not to mention the instructor who is syrupy cheerful, and you just want to smack her and tell her to act normal and act like this is a workout rather than a pep rally.

5. I need to watch less television. The times I remember my dreams these days they seem to include characters from shows I watch. The last one I remember was basically an episode from Bones, but I only remember David Boreaniz (probably wrong spelling, and I don't care). This is also another wonderful handicap/tool I use to fuel my introvertedness.

6. I have been having huge sugar cravings for the last month or so. I don't know if it is because I had a lot of sweets over the break, or if I'm stressing more than I realized. Before heading to my parents for Christmas I made Mer's oatmeal cookie recipe that makes you want to never eat anything else. I didn't cook any of it, I ate it all! I actually baked brownies last night because I wanted something warm and sweet, and hot chocolate didn't sound good.

7. I am worried about what the next year will bring. I'll graduate, which will be great, but I'll have to get a job, which may be outside of Utah. Now that most of my family is one state again I really want to enjoy it. I've seen my parents at least once a month since they've moved to Utah. I'll be there for my Dad's birthday, my Mom's, and I may even see them for MY birthday. Not only will I have to find a REAL job in a market that doesn't seem to have a lot of jobs, at least not ones that will be geared towards my degree, but I may have to get a new car. My car is doing okay, but I have to fix something in my car once or twice a year, which is generally not a cheap fix. I can't afford a car on what I make now, and I don't know when I will be able to afford it.

8. I really want a puppy. I want someone to play with, and cuddle with, and just have someone at my apartment. But I can't afford a puppy, and I'm not home often enough which would be cruel to the puppy that just wants to play, love, and be loved. It doesn't help that I keep seeing commercials about abandoned or abused animals, and that animal shelters are filling up.

9. I'm often afraid of what could happen to me now that I live alone. The window on my door frequently scares me because now people can see into my apartment just as much as I can look out. Whenever I'm home I have the door locked. But if someone really wanted to break into my apartment, they would have many options in doing so. The only places to hide would be my bathroom, the laundry, or in my closet. I have actually considered making a hiding place in case something terrible happens. Of course, I'm also very paranoid, and the books I enjoy read only make the paranoia worse.

I think that's enough for now. Sadly my list isn't as quirky, interesting, or entertaining as Mer's, but so be it. I don't know how often I'll do, but we'll see what happens.